The Nipple Whisperer

Hani's mother Wendy Dresner talks surviving breast cancer twice, tattooing her mastectomy scars and starring in the short film The Nipple Whisperer.

“Accepting myself and what I look like set off this chain of amazing experiences,” Wendy says. “I would never in a million years have believed that any of this could have happened to me.” Wendy’s unexpected journey began when she collaborated with David Beckham's tattoo artist to ink wandering lizards across her mastectomy scars. After the local press filmed her running the Muddy Race for Life as an ambassador for Cancer Research UK, director Jan Van Dyck offered her the starring role in his short film The Nipple Whisperer. “When he first called me, I thought it was a joke,” Wendy laughs. In the film, Wendy reunites with a former lover who has a gift for sending women into ecstasy by whispering to their nipples, who falls for her even though she no longer has them. Read on to learn more about Wendy’s journey with breast cancer and body image.

How did you feel about your boobs when you were younger? 

Oh gosh, I thought they were a really important part of me, especially since I did modelling. I was only 5”4 and I was never going to be a catwalk model, so my agent tried to persuade me to do topless modelling. My mum and grandma would have been absolutely mortified if I'd done anything like that, so I never went down that route. It’s ironic that I didn’t do topless modelling when I was 20 with huge, pert boobs, but I did it at 55 when they’d seen better days to model for Hani and promote body positivity. 

Did you enjoy modelling?

No, I didn't. It was an adventure, but looking back, I was so concerned about my looks, and that’s not a good thing to have at eighteen. There is so much more in life that is more important than our looks, that gives us so much joy and happiness, and when you focus on one thing you miss out on so much else. The first time I had cancer I hadn’t discovered mindfulness yet and I was so wound up about my appearance. It was much easier to deal with the second time, when my inner thinking was in a better place. 

How have you found having a double mastectomy?

It has been way better than I ever anticipated. I assumed I'd be getting loads of sideways looks of shock and horror that people were trying to hide, but actually, whenever I do get a reaction it’s always amazing. People just come up to me and give me high fives and say how wonderful my tattoos are. 

Why did you decide to get tattoos over your scars?

Because every time I looked in the mirror and saw the scars across my chest it was a reminder of what I'd been through. I was sticking the finger up to cancer, basically, saying, I’m not taking this lying down. I’m going to embellish it, I’m going to put my mark on it.

How has it changed your relationship with clothes?

Hani did a project called With & For where she redesigned my favourite lingerie so I could still wear it and feel sexy, which really uplifted me during the early days of my mastectomy. In general I’ve changed my style, but I'm glad that I changed it, because I was in a rut. I had this preconceived idea of what I should look like which got changed by the mastectomy, and it opened up new avenues I’d never considered before. Now I’ve got what my husband calls my Foxy Pixie look, whereas before I was more of a Voluptuous Lady.

Did having a mastectomy affect your sex life?

Not at all. It crossed my mind to worry about it, but the support and love that I got from my husband totally put that to rest. It’s a bit like the message of The Nipple Whisperer, actually. At the end of the film, I still end up with the love of my life, and it doesn't matter that I don’t have boobs or nipples, because our bond is still there.

Does it surprise you that Hani ended up sculpting genitals for a living?

I have to say, I didn't see that one coming (laughs). But I am so, so proud of her. People have such preconceived ideas of the body and what you can and can’t talk about, and she’s broken those barriers which is lovely because we’re all gorgeous in our own individual ways. 

Words by our editor Helen Gonzalez Brown, photos: Hani Dresner, Wendy Dresner’s archive

All year round, 5% of our nipple products – our pins, cups, and incense holders – are donated to CoppaFeel, a charity which educates about checking boobs and pecs for cancer, and what symptoms to look out for if something goes wrong. So grab a Nip Cup, and use this reminder to check your chest!

We had the best time ever at our first ever workshop, thank you to everyone who attended! Our next workshop is babe sculpting with the amazing life model Leo on the 5th November, get your tickets quick!! There’s a free drink included and the option to reserve a table upstairs after the workshop to have some delicious
Atlas Grinds brunch. If you can’t make it, don’t cry – we have self portrait sculpting and willy painting lined up in December, and we’d love to see you there.